For those of you who thought I was kidding about Dallas drivers with handguns, check out this news story and video about a recent random shooting spree on the North Texas roadways:
http://www.star-telegram.com/dallas_news/story/736869.html
http://www.wfaa.com/video/index.html?nvid=260025
See what I mean?
Yesterday, I found out one of my friends’ father passed away last week. Today I found out one of my friends in her mid-twenties has cancer. As I sit here in the coffeehouse, trying to not weep for both of them, it makes me realize what a delicate hold we have on life. Circumstances of life can change in a heartbeat. One moment, we think we know where we’re going. The next, and the road ahead of us changes, and we find ourselves in a dark, unfamiliar place.
We are measured by the way we respond to such changes in life. Will we shine as lights in these new and sinister landscapes and blaze a trail of courage even through the valley of the shadow of death? Perhaps the most powerful demonstration of who we are and what we believe arises from our ability to show people what love is, what faith is, what hope is. We can tell them all we want about how wonderful God is, and how much He loves them. But this—deep in the trenches, shoulder-to-shoulder with our friends, demonstrating our love for each other and God through the act of our will—this is the way we show people what we are made of, and Who lives inside us.
There’s an old adage in writing: “Show, don’t tell.” It’s the secret to fresh, immediate, and emotionally engaging storytelling.
It’s also the secret to living an extraordinary life. Don’t tell people what you believe. Show them. Show them, and the world will pay attention.
I got another rejection letter today after seven months of waiting. Invariably, the day before or the day after I send a follow-up letter, the rejection slip discreetly arrives in my mailbox. I know it’s a rejection the instant I look at the envelope. Too thin. Not even a full sheet of paper inside. When the rejection has no hand-written message on it, it’s even worse. No evidence of human contact whatsoever. But I know at least a human hand put it in the envelope and sealed it.
In a sense, these literary “dear John” letters embody the harsh reality of the writing profession. Competition is fierce; people don’t have time to craft personal responses, nor are they expected to explain themselves when they stick a cliché-ridden, thrice-copied slip of paper the size of a fortune cookie message into an envelope and send it on its way to hammer another dent in a writer’s fragile ego.
Combined with the angst of being misunderstood by people who read too much of themselves into our work, and the writer’s life seems emotionally perilous at times. This occupation to which we bind ourselves is not for the faint of heart. It requires immense dedication, indomitable drive, and the courage to create a story that illustrates a higher truth. Those caught in the crossfire are casualties of the honest effort of a noble profession. However, the purity of heart with which we stand grounded in the soul of our story doesn’t count for much when we find ourselves having to choose between preserving relationships and perfecting our art.
Why must writing be so complicated? Because all good writing is essentially about life, and life is about people. And the people who populate our lives are micro-representations of a larger collective humanity, and as such, amalgams of them will necessarily appear in our stories, as amalgams of ourselves must also appear if we are to be true to the story.
The decision to sacrifice a friendship in defense of a story seems like a ridiculously selfish one. However, many writers choose this path because of their commitment to the art. Is this perhaps why it is easier to write wooden characters who don’t remind us of anyone in our lives? So we can minimize the risk of wounding someone we care about because they think we’re writing about them? This all-too-common phenomenon seems to reinforce the idea that fiction represents more universal truth than memoir, and perhaps the conviction readers feel when they look into the mirror of story and see themselves is further evidence of the sheer power of fiction to reveal the human condition.
Well, I just got back from a writing conference in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This being the first time I’ve spent any length of time OK, I learned a few things about my neighbors to the north:
My take-away from all of this? I need to get to know my northern neighbors a little better. It’s something we all do from time to time in our lives: we underestimate the boy (or girl) next door.
The more I think about it, the more I realize God operates on a need-to-know basis. American society and our ideas of rugged individualism, self-actualization, and empowerment have taught us to believe that we should be able to control every aspect of our lives and our destinies. It teaches us to be self-reliant, as if this is the highest form of power we can achieve.
You don’t have to go far to see that we don’t control very much about our lives at all. We can’t tell the sky to stop raining. We can’t stop the earth from rumbling. We can’t keep the sun from setting.
The point is that we know only what we need to know to live in this moment, and perhaps to look ahead to the next few moments. We will never really know all that we want to know. We can’t see into the future, but still we want to plan, to control it somehow. If we can just learn to be okay with living on a need-to-know basis, a lot of stress, anger and worry could be circumvented.
So many of us spend too much time and energy wanting to know what we can’t know. God only gives us what we need to know to live in the moment He’s given us. We can rest in that. Do you want to know how everything your life is going to turn out? Get over it. You don’t need to know that. All you need to know is what God has given you this day to do, and do it.
Today I didn’t check my weather forecast before leaving the house. Or rather, I thought, nah, I don’t need an umbrella or a rain jacket. It’s just cloudy. Hah. Murphy’s law at work, as always. So the skies opened up and the rain was so white and heavy I literally could not see while driving on the freeway.
Thus, an unexpected (but welcome) stop at a nearby Starbucks to correct my caffeine deficiency. Then the rain stopped, and I went to the grocery store. When I came out, I found myself in the middle of another deluge. With groceries. And no umbrella. And of course I was wearing my so-not-waterproof shoes. Hey, I needed to wash that outfit anyway….
Point here is that in the midst of the downpour, I decided that I wasn’t going to run to my car because the idea that I would escape the rain shower by hurrying was pointless. I strolled to my car leisurely, soaking up the freshness of the rain on my skin, in my hair, through my clothes.
An unexpected downpour is one of the purest forms of surrender to the present moment. Why? Because a sudden rain shower does all of the things that truly living in the moment is all about: It changes your goals and your perspective. It compels you to let go of your plans and relinquish yourself to the unstoppable force of nature. It’s up to you how you respond to a downpour. You can get angry. You can fret about how your clothes and groceries are going to get ruined and try to hurry to your car to avoid getting wet. Newsflash, people. It’s doesn’t work. Here in Texas, when it rains, it pours, and you get wet. Period. No arguments.
Things happen in life that we don’t expect. Change is inevitable. There’s nothing you can do but ride the wave, enjoy nature’s gift, and let the storm wash away the tyranny of the urgent. So next time it rains, go stand outside and let it free you from the cage of plans you’ve made for yourself. Give yourself up to your destiny of the moment. You’ll rediscover the simple joy of being alive.
Never underestimate the power of breakfast to inspire great things in your writing (and in your life). I had a flash of inspiration this morning as I was cooking eggs for breakfast, replaying a song in my head from last night’s episode of BSG (Battlestar Galactica), thinking about how interesting and rich Middle Eastern culture is (and what the desert sand must feel like on my face), and picturing a frame from a popular Disney movie. And presto, another piece of my puzzle for my novel has fallen into place. I think.
Perhaps this wonderful idea will end up on the cutting room floor. Perhaps it will serve to be the major thematic underpinning in my currently convoluted and nebulous plot line. Organic writing is very much a process of trial and error. One must be open to any and all ideas, no matter how ridiculous or irrelevant they seem. “Can you believe I have talking turtles?” one of my writing friends said to me as she described her cast of characters for her work in progress. She’s not worried. She’s simply trusting in the process.
And perhaps it should be this way with all aspects of life. Is there a person in your life, someone who doesn’t seem to fit? Just go with it. Receive the gift. Do what you were meant to do. Fulfill your destiny, whatever it is. Or if you don’t know what your destiny is, just be who you are. Sooner or later it all will make sense.
I think we all wonder and worry about our future. Whether we’ll have enough money for retirement. Whether our kids will grow up to be responsible adults. Whether our relationships will stand the test of time. What our career path holds for us, and what additional hardships we will face along the way.
This year is a watershed year for me, and, like many of my friends I’ve talked to, it seems to be a year for change. Radical change. Something in the world is moving, groaning, crying out for transformation, renewal, and hope. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, I have evolved in so many ways.
One thing I’ve come to realize is that most people spend way too much time regretting the past or worrying about their future. But the only thing you can control is how you respond to the present moment, the here and the now. Life would be so much richer for most of us if we concentrated on being fully in our present. We need to strive to fill each moment of our lives with all of ourselves—to embrace each experience, whether good or bad, to feel each emotion, to drink in each sensation, to appropriate each gift that we are given.
We need to stand in the present moment, grounded in who we are, with our arms open wide to welcome our future. Can you feel your future coming to you? Wait for it. Feel the winds of your destiny coming to meet you. Smell the change in the air. Be patient, and the gift will come to you. Your kindred spirits will draw near. Be in the present. Fill your present, and your joy will shine from within you.
Yesterday I received an email out of the blue from a person who asked me to be a featured author at a fund-raising book signing event in Lockhart, the BBQ Capital of Texas. It’s an honor and privilege to be invited to an event because someone discovered my work online.
I’m so excited! Someone actually asked ME to come to their event because they like my writing. I hope this feeling never wears off, no matter how many book signings I’m invited to in the future.
I’ll be posting more details about the date and location of the event on the main website.
Cheers!
Hi all,
Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. The book signing at BookPeople over the weekend was awesome. We had quite a crowd, composed of family, friends, and several bookstore shoppers. The vibe was warm, welcoming, and fun. It felt a bit like an extended family gathering. Such a great way to end my first book “tour.” I couldn’t have imagined it being any better—except for the few friends who couldn’t make it for one reason or another.
But in the midst of the preparations and the logistics of putting on a good show, I was able to soak in the experience of it all. Standing up there, sharing my heart and my soul with the people I care most about in the world and seeing and feeling how proud they are of me—tell me, how can it get any better than this?
The BookPeople host Natalie told me my event was one of the best kind, because even the people who didn’t know me left feeling like they were part of the family. And that’s really what it’s all about. Sharing, loving, and touching people. I don’t care how many books we sold. What matters is that I made a few more friends and hopefully touched a few lives with my words.
For those of you who drove great distances to celebrate that day with me, for those of you who cheered me up on the phone and encouraged me (you know who you are), for those of you who have always believed in me and stuck by me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. It really means the world to me.
I plan to post a video clip from the reading soon. Stay tuned for more details as they become available. Also, visit my FaceBook photo album of the event here.
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